WHAT YOU NEED TO DO BEFORE YOU COMMIT YOURSELF

The challenge of making choice of a life partner has posed a challenge to human kind from the bible times to date. But in today’s world of moral decay, modern life style, egoism, multiple cultures in a single street even in the same house bloc makes the mate selection one of the most challenging tasks than never before.
Beside all that we will at one day or the other most of us get married, then what ought we to look to increases our chances of living a happy married life?

Prayers: “If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage, they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. (Message to Young People pp 460.1). In essence what is being said here is one need to double his or her effort in prayers when (s)he is considering marriage. Also the company of those caring for you and the ones you would like to help in praying is worthy having, even as E.G. White puts it “Take God and your God-fearing parents into your counsel, young friends. Pray over the matter” (MYP 449.2).

Know what you need in a mate: All of us have something we need in a partner. Unfortunately to many of us, those criteria remain in our subconscious and we never come to realize them and we thus remain saying that we are feeling like we are not okay with our couples without knowing why. The truth is we have reasons but they are still buried in our subconscious, and to unearth them we need to do something on developing ourselves; learning is one of the ways that can help understanding our inner needs, desires and even our inner selves. The point is we can not get what we need if we don’t know what we need.

Make friends: Since we in most cases marry from the group of people we encounter either often or occasionally; for that matter then we need to be aware as to how important the people we interact with in our lives are. As Christians we need to make sure we make many good friends of different sexes. This has a lot of benefit as it will improve one’s ability to communicate with members of different sex; it helps us understand the personal details of the individuals (such as age, family background, education level, etc) we interact with which will in one way or the other help us in deciding wisely as to whom we do have chances of committing ourselves to; it also help us in knowing our friends true-color when they are still friends a fact which might prove to be difficult to learn when one is already involved with that individual.

Don’t rush: Our God is never late when we partner with him we are sure that we shall receive “good gifts” from Him (Jas 1:17). “The youth trust altogether too much to impulse. They should not give themselves away too easily, nor be captivated too readily by the winning exterior of the lover. Courtship, as carried on in this age, is a scheme of deception and hypocrisy, with which the enemy of souls has far more to do than the Lord” (MYP 451). “Love is patient” (1Cor 13:4).

My dear brothers and sisters these are simple tips on initiatives one need to take before (s)he commits himself. But most importantly many heart breaks can be avoided when such cautions are taken.

Many people know that it is hard to get into a meaning and lasting relationship, but the unfamiliar truth to most of us is that breaking a relationship is even harder than getting into one; you will realize that even the well deserving broken relationship still hearts the individuals when it breaks, even to the one breaking it with such conviction of breaking it. You may happen to know many guys who seriously think that their relationships are bad ones and yet they can’t figure out how they will untangle themselves from it, that is the power of love! Such wounds are hard to heal completely, and they tend to impede on how we will trust our following partners and with that we both get less than what we ought to get from that which were supposed to be a spring of blessings.

May God bless us as we take each step with Him in making these serious moves in our lives which, does surely have impact in our lives here and in the life to come.